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Writer's pictureAngela Ng

The Power of Parental Support: Vivian Kong's Path to Olympic Gold in Fencing

Vivian Kong’s journey to winning an Olympic Gold Medal in Fencing at the Paris Games is a testament to the power of parental support and compromise. Her story is not just about athletic excellence but also about the pivotal role her parents played in shaping her path.



Early Interests and Parental Influence

From a young age, Vivian was exposed to various activities such as taekwondo, ice skating, painting, piano, guzheng, and ballet. Her mother hoped she would become a graceful young lady through ballet, but Vivian did not like it and wanted to learn taekwondo instead. Despite her mother's reservations, she allowed Vivian to try taekwondo but continued searching for a more "elegant" sport, like figure skating, which Vivian pursued for six years.


Finding a Middle Ground

Vivian and her mother each had their own opinions. To resolve their disagreements, Vivian’s father cleverly found a middle ground "combat ballet" – fencing as a sport that combined the elements of both taekwondo and ballet. Fencing offered the agility and quick movements of taekwondo along with the elegance and precision of ballet. This compromise not only aligned with Vivian’s interests but also addressed her mother’s concerns, setting the stage for her future success. Vivian has described fencing as a blend of "the speed of taekwondo and the grace of ballet," capturing the essence of both activities her parents envisioned for her.


Parental Support and Independence

Vivian's parents played a significant role in her journey, but they also knew when to step back and let her make her own choices. Initial disagreements were met with understanding and a willingness to adapt. Her parents provided unwavering support, understanding that genuine interest is a crucial motivator. Her mother, despite initial disappointment over skating, fully supported Vivian’s passion for fencing, even helping to prepare nourishing meals to support her training. This balance of guidance and independence helped Vivian grow not only as an athlete but also as an individual.


Challenges and Overcoming Adversity

Vivian's journey wasn't without challenges. She faced injuries and setbacks that tested her resolve. Her parents’ continuous support and encouragement were crucial during these tough times. They stood by her side, providing emotional and practical support, ensuring she had the best possible care and training environment. This unwavering support system helped Vivian stay focused and resilient, pushing through obstacles to achieve her dreams.


Lessons for Parents

  • Listen and Compromise:  It's important for parents to actively listen to their children, recognize their likes and dislikes, and find a middle ground that satisfies everyone. Understanding and respecting your child's preferences, while also guiding them with your experience, can lead to a fulfilling compromise. This approach fosters mutual respect and shows children that their opinions are valued.

  • Support and Encourage:  Supporting and encouraging your child's interests, even when they differ from your expectations, is essential. This means providing the resources they need, such as equipment or lessons, and cheering them on at events. Encouragement should also include emotional support, celebrating their successes and helping them navigate failures. This kind of support builds confidence and motivates children to pursue their passions wholeheartedly.

  • Foster Independence:  Allowing children to make their own decisions and supporting those choices helps them develop confidence and responsibility. Encouraging independent decision-making involves trusting your child to choose activities they enjoy and feel passionate about, even if they occasionally make mistakes. This fosters a sense of responsibility and helps them learn to manage their time and commitments effectively.

  • Be Present During Tough Times:  Providing emotional and practical support during challenging periods can help children stay resilient and focused. This includes being there for them during setbacks, like injuries or disappointments in competitions, and offering practical help, such as finding a new coach or tutor if needed. Your presence and support during difficult times reinforce your commitment to their success and well-being.


Vivian Kong’s story is a powerful reminder of how parental support and compromise can lead to extraordinary achievements. By finding a sport that blended her interests, her parents played a pivotal role in her journey to becoming an Olympic champion. Their ability to support her through challenges and respect her independence underscores the importance of a balanced and understanding approach to parenting. For parents, her story emphasizes the value of being flexible, supportive, and present in their children's lives, allowing them to pursue their passions and achieve their full potential.


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